A Glance

It was in the café that I noticed you. You're with a group of friends, I'm with a friend I've been out shopping with. You look across at me just as I look across at you. Our eyes meet for a short moment, then we both look away. But soon after, you look back again - you feel a strange attraction, like you have sometimes with other women. And you saw a look in my eyes which maybe, just maybe, you think means I'm feeling the same. You're not experienced in these things so you're not sure. But maybe... And this time, when you look back at me, I don't look away... I hold your eyes and i smile. You blush, go red, and look down. But you feel a tingle of excitement...

So you wonder, if you look up again, will I still be watching you? and if I am, what should you do?Then a friend talks to you, so you have to look up - no, you're talking to your friend now, you smile, and you look sweet and relaxed - Yet you can't take my eyes off me ...And then, the usual angel and devil appear on either shoulder. And the angel says to you - "Elle, what are you doing? You are checking a lady twice your age?". And the devil says: "Wow, Elle! She's twice your age ... and she has smiled at YOU!" ...At that moment, I look your way again ... and you feel as if you have been caught stealing ... and my eyes seem questioning now ...

God, why do I have to be so undecided you think? Why does it always have to take me so long before doing what I’ve thought? I can't stay here forever, in a minute my friends will be going, what can I do?

You have no excuse to tell them “You go on, I’m staying a bit longer.” And you can’t come to me pretending to them you already know me.. what about my friend? And most of all, what about ME? How can you be sure what you think you've seen in your glances isn’t just in your mind?Maybe you go to the cashier pretending you need some change or something … better, you could pretend you need to check the telephone directory so you could scribble your cell-phone number. Well, if what you thought were true, maybe I'’ll come there too, and you can give it to me quickly. Yes, maybe you could do so …..

There's doubt in your eyes - a glance or two and already so much information! That's good... The doubt though, it could be two things at least, maybe more. You're so fresh and open, so innocent in your joy of life, so very young, young enough to be my daughter! It bothers me, and it must bother you surely. But it's not your youth that appeals to me, it's... well, it's simply you, regardless of age. The way you move, the way you laugh, the life in your eyes. I feel a tingle too, and tingles don't read the rules, they just tingle when... when things are right.This doubt of yours though, maybe it's not my age, even though you're so young, maybe it's because I'm a woman. If I was a man, a young, good looking Italian man, that would be okay, It's what you're supposed to do, it's allowed, to look up, look away, let the man know you're interested, but not easy, make him work, but let him know there might be a reward. Or maybe not... But a woman! And an older woman! This could be so very new to you, so different the rules are vague, the end result... who knows! Me, this lady at the other table, the older woman, remembers her own doubts, her own questions, which were not so long ago. And she thinks, how old is this girl: 18? 19? She's just discovering the world! Is it right to be attracted to another woman? What will her friends say? Will they notice? What if the other woman is just being friendly? What if your dark, hot thoughts, so secret you still try to hide them from yourself, would shock and horrify the older woman at that other table?And another doubt for the young Italian girl: she must think you're wise, experienced, all the things older people are to the young - not interested in someone new to the world like her! But you ARE interested! You love the unpolluted nature of youth, and of course the smooth, tight skin, the pert breasts, the energy... And this girl, the aura of wanting to know, the curiosity.Yes, I know what you're going through. But you don't know that I know! That's your doubt.I wait until you look at me again - I don't have to wait long - and this time I smile, a big, broad smile as friendly as I can, as understanding as I can.
Oh no! Just as you see me smile, your group of friends is about to go. They're standing up, laughing, packing bags, and of coure you're moving with them.Is this going to be it? Like so often, a brief encounter, a meeting of eyes, then days, weeks, even months of wondering, what if? Two ships passing in the night, flashing lights at each other then sailing on, never making contact again.No! This lovely girl is worth more than that, worth trying harder for. Hastily I pull a scrap of paper and a pen out of my bag and write a quick note, then I stand up and as you're just about to leave, facing away from me now, I tap you on the shoulder: "Excuse me, you just dropped this," I say with a smile as friendly as I can manage, and I hand you the piece of paper.You go red and you're flustered - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. But I had to do this. And your friends only look around briefly, they think nothing of this. I see you put the paper into your bag, and now I can only hope... "I'd like to buy you a coffee," I wrote. "I'll be here, each day for the next three days, at the same time. Tara x.

It's the third day I've had a small lunch in this restaurant or bar or whatever it is. It's not a bad place, friendly, characterful, but I'm not really looking. Most of my attention has been on the doorway, looking every few minutes - okay, maybe more than that - to see if that sparkling young girl has decided to return. But now I'm thinking I was wrong, she's not going to, and a part of me is relieved. What was I thinking of, I've never been as forward as that before, let alone wih such a young girl! It's just that... well, I thought I felt a special connection, and had to act on it, or I'm sure I'd have regretted doing nothing. I did something instead, and at least I tried."Hello!" I look up, startled, as a hand taps on my shoulder and she speaks! All that looking, then I missed her coming in! Oh my, she looks lovely! So feminine and warm, and that way of looking at me I remember so well. Gosh, I still haven't spoken, I'm flustered! "Hi, would you like to sit? A coffee? I, er, I hope you didn't mind my note, I just, well, I thought... I liked you, that's all, and..." How do you tell someone you've only just met they really turn you on? That you've been thinking about them each night, while you're alone, and hot...? Especially if they're another woman! Woman? A young girl!My composure is returning, but I think she was surprised I lost it! Hmm, there's a twinkle in her eyes, she's actually amused by it! I wonder if she'd be amused if she knew the effect she had on me? God she's lovely!And so we chat, talking about ourselves and each other, just small things, but important when you want to get to know someone. Neither of us mention how we got to be here together, not yet, but very quickly we're both surprisingly relaxed. Surprising because of our age difference, and because you're here after I passed you a note, a complete stranger!There are things I want to know: are you at college or do you work? What do you do? Do you have a boyfriend? (Or a girlfriend... but I don't ask that, not yet, don't push things Tara). Just talking though I can see you're sharp and witty, shy maybe but you seem comfortable with me very quickly. And my, are you looking me up and down?! You are, and a tingle goes through me, you're interested in my body! Oh, and I'm interested in yours, you're lovely, sexy, with appealing eyes, and I can see the shape of your body through your clothes. You've dressed well, just for our meeting perhaps?I steer the conversation back to boys again. It's a start, for probing your desires and fantasies maybe. So what are your thoughts on them? No boyfriend now, but what about in the past?You start to tell me more and more...Meanwhile, in the cafe, we're laughing together, and you almost don't notice that I move my chair closer to yours, until you realise my leg is brushing against yours uner the table. The feeling is electric for me......suddenly I realise you've stopped talking and you'e looking at me slightly oddly. I've been staring at you but not answering. "I'm sorry Elle," I say: "I was miles away, for a moment." Then I realise how rude this sounds, as if you're boring me! "Oh, it's not because I'm not interested! Quite the opposite, but... I'll have to tell you later. Please say that again."How can I tell you I was fantasising about undressing you...?